Originally published 5th October 2013

With the ever increasing advances made in communication it becomes more and more difficult for our newspapers to be first to break the latest stories to the public. Radio and television are able to report incidents as they happen so by the time the papers reach the shops they contain yesterday’s news.

Consequently, as they struggle to maintain their sales, to fill their columns they have to adopt a magazine type of content with articles, letters, puzzles etc. as well as detailed and intimate accounts of the personal life of anyone, fortunate or unfortunate enough to have found themselves in the limelight.

Many such accounts are entirely focused on their ‘love life’. Past or present, it doesn’t really matter so long as they can make it interesting and scandalous. Besides the harm it might do to the characters they choose, there are a lot of downsides to this. Of course there are plenty of vulnerable young ‘starlets’ out there eager to accept any kind of publicity.

Unfortunately the reports of their complicated and sometimes unrestrained lifestyle sets a very misleading and often bad example to ordinary young people. Their interpretation of the word ‘love’ no longer carries any commitment to things like devotion, endearment and sharing as it used to. These are all sacrificed for short-term pleasure without any obligation.

Did You Know?

During the last war, there were times when life expectancy was no more than a few days and yet people continued to believe that come what may, their love for those near and dear was something that would last for ever. In some cases this was their only hope for the future and often the only thing that gave them enough strength and courage to carry on.

If ‘love’ had been interpreted as it is today how could anyone even start to imagine how much more pain and heartbreak husbands, wives and sweethearts would have suffered. What would they have had to look forward to? The best way they had of easing their worries about if and when they would be reunited was to plan what they would do when they were.

At that time, this subject must have taken up at least half the content of every letter exchanged between married couples or those waiting to tie the knot. Of course there were flings and flirtations on both sides. It was inevitable that there would be under such circumstances. Nevertheless, those couples truly in love were always aware that it was only a blip in their relationship and more often than not they soon returned to the fold. Such indiscretions can only be judged by those who have experienced a similar situation and even they should consider every case individually.

What would happen if we suddenly found ourselves in such a predicament today? If couples were separated for anything up to four years, would their love be strong enough to hold them together? Assuming they are with the right partner, the depth and power of the love couples feel for each other has not changed over the years but the meaning of the word ‘love’ defining those emotions has become distorted.

It is now frequently used to exaggerate lesser feelings for even abstract and inanimate objects when ‘like’ or ‘enjoy’ would be more accurate. In summer we ‘love’ our holidays and the fresh air when we ramble in the country or by the sea. At Christmas we ‘love’ all our presents and the special meals. Many of us even ‘love’ the job we do. In some parts of the country you are often greeted and addressed as ‘Luv’ by people you’ve never met before. Few words are misused as frequently as this one.

Since man has been able to write there have always been stories, poems and songs written about love. Especially in times of strife when people turn to them for comfort. During the last two World Wars entertainers of the day joined up with ENSA to entertain the troops. Most of the songs they sang were tailored to fit the current circumstances and remind, as well as assure all who were separated that they were constantly in the thoughts of loved ones at home. The words often conveyed messages of love expressed from the heart, mind and soul claiming that when they were reunited it would be strong enough to conquer all.

There are several definitions of the word ‘love’: – ‘An infection of the mind caused by that which delights’ – ‘Fondness’ – ‘Charity’ – ‘Devoted attachment to one of the opposite sex’: – ‘A term of endearment or affection’ and lots more. None of these define the feelings experienced by those who have found the real thing that is impossible to ignore and has a major affect on our whole being mentally, physically and emotionally. We must also bear in mind that the kind of love a mother has for her child is probably just as great but completely different to the love she has for its father.

Perhaps we should leave this word ‘love’ to be used loosely by anyone wishing to exaggerate their feelings for something. For those that are serious about their partner or betrothed we can turn to ‘true-love’. This is much more appropriate and defined as ‘One truly or really beloved’ – ‘A sweetheart’ – ‘A faithful lover’.

Other than for the purpose of being sincere and meaning what we say, the exact definition of the words we use is irrelevant. The thing that really matters is our feelings. Love can only be true when it is reciprocated. It should be remembered there are only two people to be considered initially but as the years roll by, any decision you make at this time is likely to have an affect on the lives of many of those close to you.

valley lad – [SEVENTYTHREE]